Kerry: Blame Bush for JetBlue Problems

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In a manner reminiscent of Ghengis Khan, John F. Kerry today savagely attacked President George W. Bush for the problems experienced yesterday on JetBlue Flight 292. According to Kerry, the President has mismanaged the F.A.A. and has not spent enough time scrutinizing aircraft safety.

"For four and a half years, President Bush has spent far too much time on frivolous matters, and ignored this highly critical area of concern", said Kerry... Mr. Kerry then proceeded to tick off a list of the President's "trivial pursuits".

September 11, 2001

Launching the War on Terror

Freezing assets of terror-related organizations

Capturing al-Qaeda operatives in the U.S.

Creating a Dept. of Homeland Security

Freeing 30 million Afghanis

Freeing 26 million Iraqis

Rebuilding the Iraqi infrastructure

Assisting Afghanistan develop a constitution

Assisting Iraq develop a constitution

Capturing Saddam Hussein

Capturing or killing 75% of al-Qaeda leadership

No Child Left Behind

Prescription Drug Benefit

Tax Relief

Economic Recovery

Fighting AIDS in Africa

Getting judicial nominees approved

Getting U.N. ambassador approved

2004 Hurricane Relief

Tsunami Relief

Hurricane Katrina Relief

"See what I mean", said Kerry, "Nothing nearly so important as this latest excuse for a Bush-bashing".