Study: Men Don't Hear Women Well

LONDON, UK -- A new scientific study has revealed what women have surmised for years; that is, that men just don't listen. According to the study, men are just a bit denser than their female counterparts. "I knew it. I knew it," said one suburban housewife. "My hubby just never listens. He forgets what I tell him. He gets everything confused.... I always thought he was just a bit daft".

The study, performed by researchers at Sheffield University in northern England, connected electrodes to a "sizable group" of football (i.e., soccer) enthusiasts as they watched "the telly". According to the brainwave patterns, all of the men in the study group had "difficulties listening to women's voices" while watching football.

In a similar experiment, the researchers examined brainwave patterns of men who were "channel surfing". The results were the same. Men who take control of the "remote" are most likely to have difficulty listening to a woman's voice.

A spokesman for Sheffield University deflected tough questions from reporters regarding both the cost of the study and its source of funding.