Washington Goes On Red Alert

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Only hours after Justice Sandra Day O'Connor made her unexpected resignation announcement, the nation's capitol went on Red Alert. President George W. Bush tried to put a positive spin on the event citing O'Connor's historic role as the first woman on the U.S. Supreme Court. But the tension in his voice was clearly evident in face of the upcoming struggle. He announced that he would soon submit a name for a successor to O'Connor, allowing plenty of time for the nominee to be approved before the October deadline. "The nation... deserves a dignified process of confirmation in the United States Senate," he said, knowing full well that this was only a dream that would probably never come true.

Party leaders and strategists on both sides of the aisle immediately went into high gear, preparing for the showdown that is sure to come. With alarm horns wailing in the "war rooms" of both political parties, switchboards began to light up with activity, and newsrooms began buzzing in anticipation. Senators were seen strapping on their ammo belts, Ka-bars, concussion grenades, and .45 caliber pistols.

"This is the BIG one", said one Democratic insider. "It's gonna be bad... I just know it", he continued. The next Supreme Court nominee is not likely to come through the process unscathed and according to experts, casualties are expected to be high on both sides. "Whoever controls the moral high ground will probably come out on top", said a Republican strategist. "We must take the high ground!"

Only a few blocks away, children were quietly playing... completely unaware of the looming crisis.