Lawmakers Look to Zoo For Guidance

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Rosamond Gifford Zoo in Syracuse, NY is considering the use of animal dung as a source of fuel. It hopes to reduce its $400,000 annual energy bill by using innovative technology to convert the waste into usable energy. Experts are evaluating whether there is enough dung generated each year to make the project feasible.

Lawmakers on Capitol Hill have seized on the idea and are likewise considering a similar proposal. "Hey, it's like a zoo here in Washington, and we've got so much B.S. that we could power the entire state of Virginia", said one Senator who wished to remain anonymous. "It gets so deep in here sometimes, that the place stinks to high heaven!"

Administrators at the Rosamond Gifford Zoo hinted that if they cannot generate enough dung locally, that they could tap the unlimited resources of the U.S. legislature.