Extraordinary Deal

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Moderates from both sides of the aisle have been working on a deal to try and find common ground in the battle for the hearts and minds of 100 U.S. senators. The potential deal floated last night is "extraordinary" in the respect that it accomplishes absolutely nothing and is unlikely to go anywhere.

In the highly charged atmosphere of the Senate these days, Democrats are threatening to filibuster President Bush's judicial nominees, because that is the only way to prevent a vote on these nominees by the full Senate. Republicans have a clear majority in the Senate (and the House as well), and the President's nominees would surely be approved.

In response to the Democratic threat, the Republicans have threatened to change the Senate rules and eliminate the use of the filibuster. This move has been referred to as the "nuclear option".

In response to the Republican threat, the Democrats have threatened to shut down the government by calling in sick every day until the end of Bush's term in office.

In response to the Democrat-threatened sick-out, Republicans have threatened to hold their breath until they turn blue, and kick their feet a lot.

To end the stalemate, a proposal was developed late Thursday night which would preserve the use of the filibuster for judicial nominees, but calls for its use only in "extraordinary circumstances"... like when Democrats are "extraordinarily obstructionist", or "extraordinarily grumpy".