Bush Celebrates Earth Day

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Today, April 22nd, is Earth Day. Many environmentalists, both extreme and moderate, are celebrating the day with various types of events. Some are conducting clean-ups of their neighborhood parks or local streams. Others are hiking or sponsoring running events.

George W. Bush on the other hand, is planning on polluting a river today. He will secretly choose a pristine river and dump at least one or two drums of toxic waste in an effort to kill as much of the aquatic wildlife as possible. "I have an image to maintain", said President Bush. According to his critics, Mr. Bush is a blatant anti-environmentalist President. "I can't wait to sign a bill which would allow oil drilling in the Arctic National Wildllife Refuge (ANWR)", Bush said, "so I can do on a larger scale what I enjoy doing here today."